The Race
During prayer, I confessed to God my deepest troubles and concerns. One of those concerns being inconsistency. I tend to be up and down with God; we go through many seasons together. Some good, some not so good. I always love when, after prayer, The Lord begins to respond. I didn't used to always understand His voice and how He chose to speak to me, but have since learned how to trust in that voice. The Lord showed me my walk with Him, and explained it in fullness so that I'd understand. He spoke to me in visual story, and I will share this story in hopes that others may understand their own walk with God...
I was in a race, and God was there next to me, helping me to get to the finish line. I wasn't strong enough to finish the race on my own. Sometimes, during the race, I was standing tall and running with all of my might; I was on fire and nothing could stop me. God was also running next to me, cheering me on. Everything seemed perfect. But then...something unexpected happened.
My shoe came untied and I fell hard. I bruised my knees, twisted an ankle and was in no condition to stand on my feet. I was going to lose the race! And so I sat on the ground, not moving while being depressed and sad. God was instantly by my side, He had stopped too when He'd witnessed me fall. He whispered in my ear to get up, but I wasn't listening to Him. My eyes stayed closed; they weren't on God but on my pain. I had given up. However, God isn't the one to give up, so He grabbed me by my legs and staring pulling me toward the finish line. There were times where I started to resist Him as He pulled me through hard gravel and dirt; through things that poked at my back. My body ached; I couldn't see anything but my pain. I was in a terrible place. And yet The Lord still dragged me through it.
Jesus would only pull me for so long. Eventually, He let me go and said, "Enough, child. Repent. Get up." I tried to stand, but collapsed onto my knees. I could only crawl. As I crawled, I started to glance at God, who stood in front of me, softly encouraging me to keep going. I was in pain and looked away from Him, wanting to ignore my race. However, His gentle, encouraging was enough to keep me crawling.
Eventually, I my ankle no longer hurt and I was able to stand and walk. My pace was slow and unsure but my faith was restoring and I knew that I could finish the race with God. At one point, I looked in front of me and saw God clearing my way so I that I would not stumble. I looked to my side and saw Him next to me, shielding me from evil forces meant to make me fall again. I then saw God behind me, however, I wasn't too sure what He was doing because He only smiled and said, "Keep looking forward. Your past is your past."
Finally, I was able to run again. It took some time and I'd lost myself along the way, but God never gave up on me. If He had, I would've never finished the race. "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)
At one point along the race, I started to get confident in myself. I started flipping and jumping around, but then I stumbled and God was at my side, straightening and humbling me, reminding me that He was the reason I was running on this narrow path and I should continue running humbly.
He also told me that I wouldn't just stumble once and that I'll fall more times than I could count. He said that sometimes I'll fall and get right back up, and other times, He'll have to drag me along the way. He said there will be other times where I won't even allow Him to drag me, and even then, He will still be by my side, guiding me to the finish line.
This walk with God is extremely difficult and I realize that day by day as I go through my ups and downs in my own race. I called out to God today, not understanding my walk and feeling lost; He showed my struggles to me in a way that made sense. I may be inconsistent in my ways, but He is consistent and will see me through it all. I'm not lost, I'm still in this race, He may be dragging me along but I will run again. And so will you. God didn't design us to be immobile. We have legs, feet, muscles and joints; all the tools necessary to walk with Him, spiritually and literally. No matter where we are on that path, we can know with faith that Jesus is the one getting us to the finish line and that we will finish in His name.
Amen!
